To be frank with any of you still bothered to read this, I have so much thoughts that have tempted me to continue updating this long-taken-for-granted page (that I don't even have the guts to call a blog).

But, here I am again. Wondering whether this will be another update until the next hiatus.

Updates, updates. I took a chance and flew back from Canada, solemnly swearing that I will just relax in the next four months, enjoying the peace and good food offered in Msia before I head back for a long, long war. This return trip wasn't planned. But, it happened. And before I knew it, it lasted for 7 months and will end in Dec.

Some 'insider' story about my sedimentary life. I should have gotten a job in Canada. But after three failed interviews along with mentally-draining finals, I was utterly dejected by the whole whirlwind of being enrolled in a co-op program. In fact, I was weighing the pros (2 yrs of working experience before I graduate and possibility of a job before then) and the cons (stress, disgustingly higher tuition fees, stress, outrageous insurance fees, stress, not having any summer holidays in my 5 years of education, stress, not having enough time to study for actuarial and financial analysis papers, stress etc.). At the point of requesting for a drop-out from the co-op to the regular program, I decided to give myself time to think.

So voila, back in Msia, all sweaty and filled with eczema due to the drastic climatic change, I ended up applying for internships and mind-bogglingly find myself attending interviews when I should have been happily sipping coconut juice whilst reading a superb novel by the beach. Scratch the coconut and beach. (I can't even think of a clean beach in Selangor, Flashback of the Bukit Perak rat urine virus. *shudders*) But you get the idea.

At an even astonishing note, I find myself working at Bausch+Lomb Share Services Center for 7 months already and would be ending my internship at the end of Nov. Aside from working from 9-6, I realized that I did not achieve much. Other than keeping up with my schedule of studying the FM and Exam P manuals, taking an online course, and slavering at the gym for almost every weekday, I still have not started with my work term report, learning my piano pieces, relearn the guitar and refresh my Japanese language studies. Oh boy...I get jittery by just the thought of it.

Still, I'm going to be optimistic about it, BELIEVING that I can accomplish all that before I return to Canada, not forgetting that I'll be away at Perth for two whole weeks. Yeap, shouldn't be a problem. I can probably squeeze in an hour of sleep every other week or so, pray harder to God so that I can have an extra day each week and somehow write my report, eat and drive to work (which by the way, is what I do sometimes. kids should not learnt this). Sigh, I foresee a tough November. But to be really optimistic, I would probably lose a few kilos killing myself with stress, and would then fit my MOM'S chosen gown for my brother's wedding in december. (she bought it when I was sitting for SPM)

One of the ironies of life is, when you think that you have nothing to do, a thousand things will pop up to grab your attention. Prioritizing is a great idea, when you can afford to casually move aside the last item in your to-do list so that you can spend 99% of your time working on the first item in that list 'and therefore, the most important thing to accomplish in my life right now'. As a greedy little tyke like me who would like to have the cake and eat it, preferably with nuts and no vanilla or cream pls, both the top items and the bottom items are equally important. While handling the accounts for Singapore, I often 'push' the people over there to revert back to me ASAP. So if I send an email asking for advice today and they don't reply me immediately, I'll send another email before I go back, another email when I reach work the next day, and this continues until I get so frustrated and call them up, or when they grudgingly give in to my demands. Sometimes I'll would, would the receipient feel like I'm one of those brats who needs INSTANT GRATIFICATION? Well, they are darn right about that. I suddenly feel sorry for Jonathan. Oh well, he got himself into this mess.

And then, I will move on to the mooshie section of this post. You know, the part where readers will blush and feel like they probably entered some private conversation, but would still thicken their skins, curious to read more.

Dear, 2 more months! To quote Haddock, Blistering Barnacles! How long has it been? The erratic, volatile skype calls (i suspect skype is a girl who reincarnated as a virtual software) that made me feel so annoyed. We were practically stuck to each other for two years aside from occasional one-month breaks when you return to Miri. You must think that I'm out of my mind, to ask that we only chat during weekends. I have my explanations. And I have written them in some letters that I have not decided whether I want to send them out yet. Thank you so much for the gifts. Opening the bag and finding each of the hidden gifts was....pure excitement and joy. More than the gifts itself, the thought of you taking the effort to get them, hide them, wrap them and send them. It's a nice feeling when you care to care so much. Thanks dear, for the surprise package, for the roses, for the meals, for the laughter, and for the company. Well, of course, since you have raised the standards, I suppose that it isn't too much for me if I expect more in the future. *winks*

As I'm studying about difficult people in PD7 Conflict Studies, it came to my realization that I am a difficult person too. I apologize for my unexpected outbursts, mood swings, unexplainable annoyance at you, and the habit of lashing all my stress on you. It must have been tough for you during my 'bad' days. Of course, I'm not going to tell you that I'll stop being all of the above, but you can have my word that I will TRY to become less of the volatile person I was before. Who knew workplace courses could be of use to relationships.

I wanted to start with my last assignment in PD7, but it's dauntingly troublesome. Difficult and long are not the right words. Troublesome is the most politically right one. Imagine, I'd rather tackle probability questions than doing that annoying assignment.

Will I be updating tomorrow?

I wonder.